I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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