he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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