I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
