Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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