the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
