Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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