Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
