I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
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And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
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The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize