Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
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It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
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I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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