I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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