Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
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He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
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Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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