Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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