we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
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She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
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I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
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