talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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