i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
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my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
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