they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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