but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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