god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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