god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
