At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
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they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
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What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
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