OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize