I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
