I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
her vagine was all disorganized.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
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