I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
