Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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