He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I forgot wine drunk hurts
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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