I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
