i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
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