the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
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