Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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