I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
