and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
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