We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I just found a bag of teeth...
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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