from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I'm at about main and main street
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize