long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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