Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
