Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
The adults are the big ones right?
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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