Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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