If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize