All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
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He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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