it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize