lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.