I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with