Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar