I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.