i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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