Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
