I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
