i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
This is my gift to your gina
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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