whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
How drunk are you??
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
20 People Who Caught Their Significant Others Cheating and Hand Over Some Major Karma
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
33 Memes You’ll Find Uncomfortably Relatable If You’ve Ever Been Through A Messy Breakup
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup