We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I just got carded by a ten year old.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
