the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
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