Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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